Down to Party

This week, a reader submitted question:

Dear Bruce, 

I have a new event to prepare for in roughly 3 weeks. We have been invited to a casual dinner with other parents from my kid’s preschool. My wife wants to be friends with the couple hosting, and one of them is an architectural designer (and both of them are always well dressed). 

The event is on a Wednesday night and it has been billed as “a very casual dinner at our house. All are welcome: siblings, nannies, visiting grandparents, etc.” 

I want an outfit that will make me look well put together without being “dressed up”. The event is supposed to be casual, there will be kids, including my toddler, there so things will likely get messy, and my wife isn’t getting more dressed up than jeans and a sweater. 

What do you think I should wear?

—Harrison

Welcome to A Well Worn Dispatch, an at-least-weekly newsletter about dressing well, feeling good, and giving a damn. With an emphasis on style that’s personal and a focus on intentionality and craft, I answer reader submitted questions and invite you to go window shopping with me for the finest jawns the internet has to offer.

Harrison, I love this question, thank you for sending it in. 

I firmly believe it is better to be overdressed than underdressed. That said, you can be too overdressed for a situation and that can make you stand out a bit too much for your own comfort. 

Despite being a “casual” event, the fact that it’s on a Wednesday after work gives you a nice range of dress to play in. And, now is the perfect time to bring out your fall colors and textures. 

I’ve built a few different fits you can throw, depending on how far into casual you want to push things. They are all built around the same shirt and pant combo (and even these give you some leeway).

I know you want to look good for this event, but more importantly, I need you to feel good in what you wear for this. If you’re uncomfortable in what you’re wearing it’s going to show in your interactions with all the people you’d like to make a good impression on, so it’s imperative that these clothes aren’t wearing you. That said, if something in these suggestions feels like a stretch, you don’t have to wear it. Or, practice wearing it some day before the actual party, that way if you decide to go for it, it’ll feel a little less foreign when it’s time to wear it for real. 

The Supporting Cast

The base of this outfit is intentionally simple (almost overly simple), and likely something you’ve already got in your closet. 

  • The Shoes: A leather boot (chelsea, chukka, or work) or loafer (penny or tassel).  Brown or black will work here, and I’ve included both in the example images. A darker suede can work here too, but given the potential for spills, best stick with leather.

  • The Pants: Chinos in grey, olive, or khaki, or medium to dark wash denim. This sort of event is normally the perfect place for some white or natural denim or chinos, but given the children running around (your child included) it’s best to avoid these lest you end up with a…memorable stain. 

  • The Shirt: Tucked into those pants go with a poplin spread collar in blue or white (a stripe would be perfect here, and I’ve got just the one). A classic OCBD (oxford cloth button down) would also work here. 

  • Optional Accessory: A knit tie in a fall hue (yellow, burgundy, olive, brown) or a navy if you’re feeling a little more reserved. Not all of the following outfits will work with a tie, but a number of them will.

We are keeping these simple for a reason. Assuming your shirt and pants fit you well enough, no combination of the above will look bad, and this would be a perfectly acceptable outfit to wear all on its own. 

But, we’re not here for perfectly acceptable, we are making memorable first impressions, so the shirt, pants, and the boots are the supporting cast for this fit.

The Stars

Since this is a Wednesday night party, you might be  coming straight from the office, so to me,  a blazer isn’t out of the question. But it needs to be something with a lot of texture and it probably shouldn’t be navy or charcoal grey. That  will help to bring the formality down a notch or three. Now is the perfect time for a tweed, donegal, corduroy, or houndstooth. I know I mentioned a knit tie earlier, but I wouldn’t wear this with a tie because that’ll be a little too formal for a weeknight-child-friendly-dinner-party. If you’re feeling particularly bold, swap out your dress shirt for a knit polo sweater like the outfit on the right above.

If a blazer feels like too much (or your wife vetoes it for being too fancy), try a cardigan. This could be a thinner knit that you wear with (or without) the aforementioned tie. As with a blazer, make sure you leave the bottom button of your cardigan unbuttoned, it’ll help the sweater lay a bit nicer, and give you a touch more room to move when chasing after a kiddo. You could also go for something bigger, chunkier, and a little more relaxed (sans tie), which might help you embody a slightly more chill dad vibe, especially if you’re feeling a bit nervous about the whole thing. 

Don’t have a cardigan in your closet (yet)? That’s okay! Don’t rush to order one online just yet. Good knitwear is an—often expensive—investment, so It’s often worth shopping for in person if you can to get a feel for the wool. If you can’t get your hands on a sweater in person, I recommend reading some reviews to see how others find the texture of the fabric, and how warm it wears.

If you want to go a little lighter weight, I think this is the perfect time for one of my favorite layers, the chore coat. It will look great on its own, but you can also button it up with a knit tie, almost like a blazer, much like David Coggins did at The Masters (above left). There are so many options for chore coats, from lighter weight linen, canvas, or twill, to warm, cozy wools and cords. Find one (or three, I’m not counting) in a fabric or color you like. A yellow or rust chore coat would pop against the rest of your outfit, or lean into the texture with something like this olive cord from Sid Mashburn. If you’re feeling something a little more symmetrical or your style leans more toward militaria, a field or hunting jacket would work just as well. I could devote an entire Dispatch to chore and field coats, and I will soon.

Maybe you want to wear some knitwear, but aren’t feeling the cardigan look. No worries, you probably  have a crew neck or v-neck sweater in your closet. It works perfectly here. Bonus points if you have something in an autumnal hue. In fact, if it’s a particularly brisk evening, you might need this sweater as a layer under the blazer or chore coat. Should you need to do that, think about how the color of the sweater compliments or plays with a color from the pattern of the jacket. If you have questions about this, you can always reply to this email and we can work on the outfit together.

The last top layer option, and perhaps the least formal of the bunch here, is a shirt jacket (or “shacket” which, as much as I love a good portmanteau, I cannot bring myself to say out loud) like a CPOshirt. Modeled after the wool jackets given to Naval Chief Petty Officers, CPOs have two flap pockets on the chest and are often made of hearty wool, but you can find other versions in cotton or linen depending on what you need for your climate.

Oh, one last bonus item if you’re feeling especially adventurous: the rugby shirt. Worn like Marc Briant-Terlet, on the left,over a poplin shirt and tie, some lighter washed jeans, white ribbed socks, and suede loafers, this would be a very cool outfit with a lot of character. No pressure, just something to think about.

Hopefully, Harrison, this gives you some ideas for an outfit you can build for this event, and any other (semi) casual events this fall, from your current wardrobe.

I think shopping from your closet is the best option. If you don’t have a blazer that you think works, don’t rush out to buy one off the rack that you don’t get tailored, it’s better to show up in an outfit that fits and feels familiar than in something new. Almost everything in menswear looks better when it’s been lived in a bit.

I said it up top, the most important thing is that you feel like you. That will give you an extra boost of confidence at this party. Knowing that you’ve assembled your outfit with care is a flex all its own. You’re gonna look damn good, and hope you send me a fit pic of what you end up wearing. 

—Bruce

Delusions of Autumn

As I write this draft on the last day of September, the high in Austin is 93º F (34º for my C friends). 

Autumn—or fall if you’re feeling particularly American—is technically already here. There’s pumpkin spice in the lattes, candy in the seasonal aisle at the grocery store, and decorative gourds are starting to appear. But dammit if it’s not far too hot for fall fashion, at least here in Texas. 

I love autumn and winter clothes. I live to layer, and yet, where I live even one layer can be too much of it darling, too much.

For those of you in cooler climes I’ve rounded up some of the things that I would love to be wearing when the temperatures drop. I want to wear sweaters, blazers, long coats, beanies, gloves, and scarves. I shouldn’t be buying any of these things, but maybe you can.

Layers and Layers of Wool

How I’m tryna be all winter (image via Drake’s)

Knitwear

Sweaters and sweatshirts have a ton of range in warmth and wearability. I want to be swaddled in shawl collars and cable knits, but I’m probably going to end up with mid-weight cottons and thin wools. 

J. Mueser has an amazing cotton/linen cable knit in a perfectly fall rust color that will go beautifully with OCBDs, denim shirts, chinos, or cords. If the rust is too much for you, Jake’s got cream, olive, and navy options too. The cotton/linen blend will actually work for my weather systems, so don’t be surprised if the rust (and cream) make their way into my closet.

Options:

Donegal from Inis Meain, Cotton Indoorsman from The Armoury, Lambswool roll neck from Sunspel. 

Tailoring

Autumn and winter suiting is the perfect opportunity to bring more texture into your tailoring. Flannels, tweeds, houndstooth (hounds…teeth?) can all have a place in a fall wardrobe. But tailoring doesn’t have to mean fussy suits. Jackets and suits that are more relaxed, or even not traditional suit cuts at all are a ton of fun. 

The Drake’s grey wool flannel double breasted jacket (or full suit) pictured above is unlined and soft-shouldered keeping it from falling into “stuffy boardroom suit” territory. 

Options: 

I helped my dad pick out this gorgeous Sid Mashburn hopsack. It reads as a brown jacket from far away, and then when you get up close, the colors of the Glen Plaid can truly be appreciated. Billy Reid Corduroy Leo jacket to nail the cool professor vibes. J Crew has a few great options in cotton wool blend (and they’re on sale until tonight). 

Outerwear

I love outerwear. Gimme chore, rider, field, puffy. I want to wear all the jackets. You’ll find me in a chore jacket until the wind picks up and then I reach for a Barbour to cut the chill. 

Everyone needs a long coat in their closet. You can dress up denim and a sneaker to run errands on a brisk Saturday morning, or slip it on over a suit when you head out to dinner and the symphony. This Prince of Wales raglan coat is the perfect statement coat. 

Options:

Le Laboureur French Wool Field Coat, 3Sixteen Type 3s, Billy Reid Bond peacoat

Odds and Ends

There are a few other things I would love to wear through the fall that don’t fit into the above categories. I’m mostly set on pants, but these donegal cords (and the matching jacket) from Wythe are incredible. It’s also probably time to up my scarf game. Now is the time to be thinking about gloves, these from Hestra should do nicely. And a lug sole chelsea is perfect for crunching through the leaves pickin’ punkin’s and dashing to dinner and drinks. 

Caveat

I know I picked a lot of expensive examples, but you don’t have to spend a ton of money to look good this autumn. There are plenty of options out there that aren’t expensive. Use these ideas a guideposts for things you might like, then find whatever fits your budget. Outerwear and knits can be worth spending more on because, if taken care of, they’ll last you for years to come. Grailed, Poshmark, and Ebay are all great places to hunt for Barbours, chore coats, and even tailoring—but only if you confidently know your measurements. 

Take a chance on a link or three:
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The Upgrade Shirt

If you’re looking to make some style changes or start “dressing better” (an idea worth unpacking in its own right) it can be daunting to figure out where to start. This is the first in a series I’m calling The Upgrade. Each article will focus on one area of your closet. The goal is to pick one piece you work in, wear out, and use to refine your personal style. 

The first piece we will tackle is one that will likely get the most wear: The Shirt.

Well, more specifically the dress shirt. I’ll cover to t-shirts and polos some other time. 

Right now you probably have at least a few “dress shirts” in your closet. 

There’s that shirt that came with the suit you bought that you only wear once every two years. It’s white, has a spread, or maybe point, collar, and while it’s a decent shirt, it’s stuffy and you don’t want to wear that every week. 

There’s probably a shirt or three that you wear but they fit you a little funny. Maybe they’re juuuuuust a bit big or small in the shoulders, or there’s too much room in the chest, or the sleeves do that weird balloon thing when you try to wear a jacket in the fall. 

Maybe you’ve an Oxford cloth button down (OCBDs going forward) in blue—maybe pink?—kicking around from the menswear 2.0 days—save that, it’s a classic and will always be worth having.

Unless you’re a lifeguard, you’ve gotta wear a shirt every day. But, instead of adding a handful of shirts you might wear, or have to figure out how to wear, I’ve got a shirt that you’ll want to wear on Monday and wash so you can wear it Thursday, and maybe even toss it on casually on Saturday.

The Shirt

I recommend a blue striped cotton poplin button down.

This one from Drake’s might be my favorite.

This is an incredibly versatile shirt and that makes it valuable, and worth spending a bit more on. Maybe more than you’ve ever spent on a shirt before. 

Let’s break this shirt down into its components.

The fabric: cotton poplin 

Without getting into the intricacies of weaving, poplin is a plain weave fabric with a smoother, silkier surface and feel, while still being strong and crisp. It looks great pressed under a suit, but equally good a little rumpled at the hotel bar with jeans after a long day of travel. It’s a lighter weight fabric than Oxford so it wears cooler, and its smooth texture makes it a bit dressier—great for elevating an outfit, or providing a bit of contrast. 

Though thin, the fabric is strong and you don’t have to dry clean it. You can wash it cold and hang dry it. I even throw my poplins in the dryer on air dry with my heartier oxfords in a pinch. They iron to a beautiful crisp, but if you don’t have the time, they will still look good with a few shakes in a steamy bathroom. 

The pattern: a stripe

Preferably a bengal, or if you’re feeling particularly bold—maybe you should be—an awning stripe. At the very least, a university stripe (but you might already have this size in an OCBD, in which case, go for something a bit louder. A broader striped shirt lends some visual interest to a simple navy blazer sans tie, fall sweater, or winter jacket. 

The difference in stripes is a matter of fractions of an inch—if you must know university stripes are roughly ⅛”, bengal ¼”, and awning ⅜” or wider—but it makes a difference as the bolder the stripe, the generally less versatile. 

The color: blue

Even though you probably have a decent amount of blue in your closet already, I think it is worth adding one more. You can pick any blue you like, but keep in mind that a more intense blue will be a bolder statement, and potentially a bit less formal unless you’re used to making some more advanced moves (you can totally do this, I believe in you). 

My recommendation is something in the sky blue or light blue family if you’re going for versatility. 

The collar: button down

The final piece of the shirt is what makes it so special, and that is the collar. Normally, if you come across a blue striped poplin shirt, it’s spread collar, and while that’s a great shirt to have in your closet, I think going for a button down on a poplin shirt gives you the maximum wearability. 

While not exactly a high/low combination, mixing the more formal poplin with the slightly less formal button down lets you wear perfectly no matter what the week brings. 

Versatility equates to value

Put all these elements together and you end up with an incredibly versatile shirt. You can wear it to the office with trousers or chinos, or pair it nicely with jeans and a blazer for date night. And, assuming you didn’t sweat too much in it, you can roll up the sleeves and wear it a little wrinkly on the weekend.

This versatility makes this shirt a great value. I wore this shirt three times last week—yes I did wash it between wears one and two because it coincided with laundry day—but it’s also because I love this shirt, and I think you might too. 

And I know what you’re thinking, “Bruce, you’re suggesting a nearly $300 shirt, you’re out of your goddamn mind.” And you might be right, but that’s a different thing entirely. Maybe you’ve never spent this much money on a shirt before. That’s okay. If it’s outside your budget, or you just don’t want to spend that much, there are other options. I didn’t pay full retail for mine either. I was very patient and managed to snag one on Grailed for a song. 

A shirt like this is designed to flex across many of the sartorial situations you might find yourself in. It gets packed or worn almost any time I travel for work or pleasure, and I wear it no less than once a week. It’s worth paying a little extra for the best fabric you can get—and then being careful with your laundry, say it with me “hang dry”—to have a shirt that will last you for many years to come. 

Now the part you’ve really been scrolling for:

What to buy

We will start at the high priced end of the recommendations with Drake’s. These are expensive, and if you go made to measure (something I highly encourage) they cost even more, but dammit if they’re not worth it. I love every Drake’s shirt in my closet. Their fabric and finishing touches are divine. [$275+]

Another great—and slightly less expensive—option, is made to measure from Sid Mashburn. I like the Blue Bold Awning Stripe, and you can definitely pull that off, I believe in you. If you can find one of their excellent stores or catch them on the road, they’ll measure you for a shirt and any time you want to add another one to your closet you can call or fill out the form online and have one shipped to you in a matter of weeks. [$200 ish]

In the $100-$200 range there are some great choices. Anglo-Italian has a beautiful shirt for $182, and Todd Snyder has one for $148. If you are feeling a bit more adventurous—and have someone who can help you take your measurements—you can build a Stanton 120s shirt from Proper Cloth.

And if budget is a concern, Land’s End has you covered at forty bucks. My first dress shirts were from Land’s End almost 15 years ago and I still have one or two of their oxford’s in my closet.

P.S. If this feels like you, don’t worry. You’re welcome here too. I write these things with you in mind and I’m glad you’re along for the ride. Pretty soon you’ll have an opinion on exactly which stripe is your favorite and why. I can’t wait.

I put miracles in the same bracket as a glitch in the universe, or ‘pataphysics, and luck too – phenomena are not required to be explainable to be real, but you do need to be ready to spot them.

— Matt Webb

I love the idea of being ready to spot all the wonderful, unexplainable miracles of the world.

Plus, I learned a new world—pataphysics.

Working on a new Bird Mail newsletter. Theme: Repeats. Lots of ideas that are connected, but haven't found the way to string them together quite yet.

I've been falling in and out of the reading habit lately. When I could muster the energy to sit down and do it, T.C. Boyle's The Tortilla Curtain had me hooked.

It's been 15 years since I first picked up a camera with intention. What I do with a camera has changed a lot, but my love of photographs has not diminished a bit.

I wonder about the future of still imagery in a digital world that seems to be driven toward movement.

From the wonderful, Craig Mod

Brandolini's Law: “The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than that needed to produce it.”

As always his insight is what makes this valuable

The internet produces prodigious amounts of bullshit, and your job is to not burn all your fuel refuting it. (Or gazing upon it.)

Bird Mail Season 002 Issue 001

2022-01-25

Hi friend,

Apologies for the technical difficulties. This email should have all the right images in it. If you wrote in to let me know, I appreciate you.

Bird Mail is back.

You probably have some questions:

A. How did this get here?

  1. What the heck is Bird Mail?
    III. What does “back” even mean?

Here are some answers:

A. You’re getting this because at some point—probably years ago now—you signed up to get the occasional missive from me in your inbox. Thank you for doing that, by the way. It’s been a really, really long time, and if the following email is of minimal value to you, or you get too much email and simply can’t handle another, you can unsubscribe. You will be missed, but I totally understand.

\ 2. Bird Mail is you only-on-(some)-Tuesdays dose of internet ephemera, artfully arranged by me, Bruce Layman. The first season of Bird Mail ran some 42 issues, and then unceremoniously disappeared for a long while—COVID kind of put a damper on my writing spirits.

III. Now the second season begins. It has some edges this time, which are simultaneously constraining and liberating. Season 02 will be shorter, say 12 issues, with a little more structure: primarily photo essays, and a few links you’ll have to trust me are worth clicking on. (I’m stealing this idea from the excellent Paynter Jacket Company Newsletter and their “Links to the Unknown” section.)

Onward.

2022-02-07

I have been thinking a lot about “places” lately—lately being these last two weird years.

Places we call home.
Places we have been stuck(?) in.
Places we visit.
Places we overlook.

I spent a good chunk of my quaran-time walking with a camera. No more than usual probably, I’ve upped my daily walking since adopting Navy Bean, but my relationship to our daily walks has changed significantly.

When you’re forced to walk a similar path every day it’s easy to become blind to it. Pop the AirPods in with a podcast, block out the world, and retrace the same steps twice a day ad nauseam.

2022-02-07

There’s an alternative though. You can choose to Notice. Take out the earbuds and listen to the birds, the conversations, the sounds of your area. Breathe deeply and smell how the grass and the flowers change on the winds. Look at the signs, the graffiti, the familiar faces. There is so much to experience if you take the time to try.

Walking with a camera helps you notice even more. I have been looking at the trees that make up my neighborhood, seeing how the seasons and the light change them, finding beauty in their just being there.

I spent spring of 2020 watching hawks build a nest and raise two eyas—the word for young hawks—and saw them grow and stalk the trees. I sat in their shade as Navy Bean ran about “the meadow” making dog friends. I saw them covered with a rare snow, not once, but twice in a month. And I watched as they changed with each—seemingly more extreme—summers and winters.

2022-04-25

I have been photographing this tree in particular because, despite its broken, lopsided appearance—its bare branches the perch for a fledgling hawk learning to hunt, its twisted branches splayed out in all directions—this spring it leafed out, showing signs of recovery.

And then, today on my walk with Navy Bean, I looked at the tree line and something was amiss. It took me a moment.

It was gone.

With no warning, with no ceremony, it was cut down.

2022-05-16

Goodbye, old friend.

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I’m not entirely sure what this season of Bird Mail is going to bring. My goal is to enjoy the writing. I hope you’ll join me.

Your friend,
Bruce

If you enjoyed this issue and aren't already getting Bird Mail every other Tuesday, you can join the small, but growing, group of birders here(https://buttondown.email/birdmail) to get more—but not too many—emails about design, bicycles, art, technology, and anything else on the internet I find worth adding to my collection. If you want to share Bird Mail with someone you know, simply forward this email to them.